Resident Enis Halloween Song Cifras

The song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uB2ns7sT8ww&t=91s
No capo needed, standard tuning
All chords used: C F D G Cm G# Fm C# A#
D: = Dodger   M: = Mark
 
C                    F
Chapter 54, page one hundred and five
         D                                G
Create a hellhound antidote and keep your victim alive
           C                            F
It says to cover one eyeball and... the other one too
        G
D: What for?
                             C
That's what the book says to do
 
             C                     F
We'll need a pile of raisins and a magical word
          D                                   G
I like to use the term "Linguine" 'cause it's pretty absurd
               C                                       F
And once we've found ourselves some raisins, pour them into a shoe
                G                                   C
Then flick your ear - that's what the book says to do!
 
           F                      C
We have to iron a cactus, stick a bee up your nose
               G                                   C
And then we'll eat a plate of flapjacks, draw some faces on toes
               F                                   D
We'll all hold hands until they're sweaty, we'll pretend we can fly
          G
And if we don't - we'll die!  (I made that part up.)
 
(Here, hold this!  M: It looks diseased)
        C                           F
Now you take a creepy baby doll and shake it all around
         D                              G
Then you shriek like a weasel while you flail on the ground
               C                                   F
And once we've done that for two hours, throw that baby down the stairs
           G                         C
Then we'll hit each other with metal chairs
 
       C                                F
D: I'm having second guesses about this spell-casting stuff
           D
M: Okay, I found a couple tutus...
           G
That's not nearly enough!
           C                             F
Next we'll scatter someone's ashes as we throw a parade
               G                                 C
And then we'll sit and have a séance while we're playing Old Maid
 
C
Wear a big hat
F
Drink from this jar
     D                                G
M/D: None of this song makes sense so far  (I hope I have some chickens left!)
 
           Cm
M: I don't know what he's up to, but it's certainly weird
            G#                             G
D: He keeps asking for toenails   M: And a leprechaun beard!
           Cm
D: I don't think we should trust him, he's completely insane
               G#                           G
M: And all the nonsense we're doing seems expressly inane
            Fm
D: We should totally kill him! M: Yeah, it seems like you're right
              C#
D: I mean, he looks pretty puny...
            C
M: Won't be much of a fight
          F#
D: We can sneak up behind him!   M: Drive a stake through his heart!
           C
D: Do your worst!
          C
M: Ladies first!
        C#                                               C
M/D: If you won't impale him, then Enis will start a new verse!
 
[Kazoo solo]
F  A#  G  C     F  A#  C  F
 
            A#                         F
We've gotta whittle a pickle, eat some parmesan cheese
               C
and then we'll all watch a movie
   F
"OH NO NOT THE BEES"
            A#
And next we take out the garbage
        F
Summon hellbeasts from space
          G
And then, when the portal closes pull his sleeve up to expose his
        C
wounded arm and kiss your friend's dead face!
 
        F
Let's expel our space-bound hellbeasts
          A#
And we'll take out the trash
              G
We'll watch a flick and eat some cheese
          C
And cut a pickle and dash
          F
Inside to play kazoo and wear a hat
    A#
Use metal chairs like baseball bats
    G                 A#             F  D
And flail and fly and paint all your toes
               G                  A#           F  D
We'll eat some flapjacks and stick bees in your no- uh, never mind
             G
We'll grab a shoe to fill with snacks
               C
and flick your ear with sneak attacks
and scream "Linguine!" to the max
           F
so here it goes!
X