The Book Of Mormon - Joseph Smith American Moses Cifras

(Most of this song is acapella, but the choruses have chords)
 
[Intro]
N.C.
And now we wish to honor you with The story of Joseph Smith, the American Moses!
Well, this is very good, praise Christ!
 
[Verse 1]
(Drums/Djembe)
N.C.
(Mormon!)
I'm going to take you back in time (Mormon)
To the United States, 1823 (Mormon)
A small and odd village called Oopstate, New York (Oopstate)
There was disease and famine (So sick)
But also in this village lived a simple farmer who would change everything
His name...was Joseph Smith
 
[Chorus]
N.C.
Hiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiya         Joseph Smith,       American Moses
                    (Ha-oom)             (Ha-oom)
   Praise be to Joseph,        American prophet man
(Ha-oom)               (Ha-oom)
Ay, my name is Joseph Smith
And I am going to fuck this baby! WHAT?!!?
   No no Joseph,        don't fuck the baby
(Ha-oom)        (Ha-oom)
   Joseph Smith,        don't fuck the baby
(Ha-oom)        (Ha-oom)
 
[Verse 2]
N.C.
Suddenly the clouds parted and Joseph Smith was visited by God!
N.C.
   Joseph Smith, do not fuck a baby
(Ha-oom)
   I will get rid of your AIDS, if you fuck this frog.
(Ha-oom)
 
[Interlude]
N.C.
   Hiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiya
(Ha-oom)
 
[Verse 3]
N.C.
Joseph Smith fucked the frog God gave him and his AIDS went away
Then a great wizard named Moroni came down from the Starship 'Enterprise'
N.C.
   Joseph Smith, your village is shit
(Ha-oom)
   You shall lead the villagers to a new village.
(Ha-oom)
Take these fucking golden plates. Away!
N.C.
And on the plates were written the directions to a new land:
Sal Tlay Ka Siti (Sal Tlay Ka Siti)
Joseph tried to convince all the villagers ao follow him and his golden plates
Liberation! Equality! No more slavery for Oopstate Mormon people!
 
[Chorus]
                 Gm7
I got the golden plates (Gold plates)
                   Gm7
I'm gonna lead the people (We head West)
                 Gm7
We gotta stick togeddah (Mormons)
              Gm7
We gotta help each uddah (We're Mormons)
                    Gm7
And so we climb the mountain (We head West)
                 Gm7
And we cross the river (We head West)
                   Gm7
And we fight the oppression (Mormons)
                 Gm7
By being nice to everyone (We are Mormons)
 
[Interlude]
N.C.
Not so fast Mormons! You shall not pass my mountain!
(Drums/Djembe)
N.C.
Down from the mountain look who comes the American warlord Brigham Young
Yeeees! I am Brigham Young! I cut off my daughter's clitoris!
That made God angry so he turned my nose into a clit for punishment!
 
[Bridge]
N.C.
Brigham Young, his nose was a clitoris.
What will you do Joseph, will you fight the clitoris man?
Not fight him, help him! Oh!
 
[Verse 4]
N.C.
Joseph Smith took his magical fuck frog
And rubbed it upon Brigham Young's clit face. And behold Brigham was cured!
N.C.
Joseph Smith magical AIDS frog. Brigham Young, frog on his clit face!
Brigham Young was so grateful, he decided to join the Mormons on their journey
Compassion! Cutesy! Let's be really fucking polite to everyone!
 
[Chorus]
                 Gm7
I got the golden plates (Gold plates)
                   Gm7
I'm gonna lead the people (We head West)
                 Gm7
We gotta stick togeddah (Mormons)
 
[Verse 5]
N.C.
Now comes the part of our story that gets a little bit sad (Oh)
After traveling for so long, the Mormons ran out of fresh water
And become sick...with dysentery
 
[Bridge]
(Djembe/War Drums)
N.C.
Water go to de watah, watah go to de cup (drums)
Cup go to de stomach, shit come out de butt (drums)
Shit go in de watah, watah go in de cup
Shit go down de stomach, shit come out de butt
N.C.
*Gasp!* Oh fuck!
Oh no, de prophet Joseph Smith is now getting sick
N.C.
Shit go in de watah, watah go in de cup
Cup go to de thirsty, shit go to de stomach
Blood come out de butt, blood go in de watah
Water go in de cup, cup go to de throat
Shit blood in de stomach, shit blood in de mouth
Shit blood on de insides, watah come out de butt!
 
[Verse 6]
N.C.
Brigham Young you must take the golden plates
And lead the Mormons to the Promised Laaaaaand. *Raspberry*
Desperation! Mmortality. Loss of faith!
 
[Chorus]
                      Gm7
Ahhhhh got the golden plates (Gold plates)
                   Gm7
I'm gonna lead the people (We head West)
                     Gm7
    We gotta stick togeddah (Mormons)
(Even though their prophet had died)
                                  Gm7
(The Mormons stuck together and helped each other)
                           (We're Mormons)
                  Gm7
(And were really nice to everyone they came across)
         (We head West!)                          (Mormons)
                 Gm7                                N.C.
And then one day the Mormons finally found Sal Tlay Ka Siti
                            (We're Mormons)                (Sal Tlay Ka Siti!)
 
[Interlude]
N.C.
And there, the Mormons danced with Ewoks and were greeted by Jesus!
Welcome Mormons! Now, let's all have as many babies as we can!
And make big Mormon families!
 
[Instrumental]
A D A D E
 
[Chorus]
D                D/A       A
Fuck your woman, fuck your man
                 Bm/A     A
This is all part of God's plan
                 Bm/A      A
Mormons fuck all that they can
N.C.
Here in Sal Tlay K'Siti land
D     A/C# Bm             A
Thank you, thank you God, now we are fucking
D     A/C# Bm             A
Thank you, thank you God, God wants us fucking
D     A/C# Bm             A
Thank you, thank you God, get back to fucking
D     A/C# E          F#m7
Thank you, thank you, God
 
[Outro]
G5
Joseph Smith fuck frog, Brigham Young clit face
                                              A
Shit come out the butt, Jesus says fuck, fuck Mormons!
X