New Math Cifras

[Intro]
G C Em D
G C G  D
 
[Verse]
G  C     Em     D         G
What's a pirate minus the ship?
C      Em       D        G
Just a creative homeless guy,
C      Em              D                   G  C
And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant?
   Em     D      G
An ironic way to die
C          Em      D       G              C
And what's domain, domain, range (xxy)
  Em           D           G     C
A kid with too much in his pants
        Em    D     G
And two balls minus one,
C   Em            D       G
Six titles at the Tour de France
 
[Pre-Chorus]
G       C             Em   D
Split a decision with long division,
G        C                Em   D
Take the circumference of your circumcision
G         C             Em              D
Live like your data and when you're all "set"
G          C            Em           D
Put it all together and whatever you get
 
[Chorus]
         G    C  Em  D
It's new math...
         G    C  G   D
It's new math...
 
[Verse]
    G  C            Em      D        G  C
And what's a bag of chips divided by five,
         Em   D        G  C
That's a Nike worker's meal
          Em          D         G  C
And Santa Clause multiplied by "I"
        Em         D         G  C
Well, I guess that makes him real
               Em          D  G  C
And the square root of the NBA
   Em     D    G  C
Is Africa in a box
           Em      D       G   C
How do you trace a scatter plot?
             Em        D          G C Em D G C G D
You give the pencil to Michael J. Fox
 
[Pre-Chorus]
G          C         Em       D
Take the approximate moral proportion
       G        C            Em        D
Of the probable problem of a pro-life abortion
G              C         Em               D
Live like your data, and when you're all "set"
G            C              Em       D
Put it all together and whatever you get...
 
[Chorus]
         G C Em D
It's new math
         G C G D
It's new math
 
[Verse]
    G      C      Em     D
And if you took a factor tree
       G            C         Em            D
Of the factors that caused my girl to leave me
             G  C   Em      D     G C Em D
You'd have a tree...full of Asian porn.
G   C Em  D
C-A-L-C-U-LATOR (see you later)
     G       C            Em       D
Mathematical minds make industrial smog
    G          C           Em D
And what's the opposite of ln(x),
G   C         Em        D
Duraflame the unnatural log
 
[Pre-Chorus]
   G        C              Em  D
Support the farmers with a pro-tractor,
     G           C              Em     D
Link Kennedy and Lincoln with a common factor (fact, or)
G              C         Em              D
Live like your data, and when you're all set
G            C              Em       D
Put it all together and whatever you get
 
[Chorus]
         G C Em D
It's new math
         G C G D
It's new math
 
[Verse]
 
Word problems!
             G   C        Em     D
If there's a fat guy in a pastry shop
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With a twenty dollar bill and he's ready to buy,
   G           C        Em     D
In order to predict his volume change
       G       C        Em       D
You'll need to know the value of pi (pie)
                 G     C              Em   D
And if there's a metal train that's a mile long
           G         C     Em             D
And at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her,
G                C           Em        D
How long 'til it reaches and kills the driver,
G             C      Em      D
Provided that he's a good conductor
       G      C       Em      D
And if ten percent of men are gay and
G         C       Em         D
Twenty percent of men are Chinese,
G            C               Em        D
What are the odds that a man chosen at random
           G            C        Em           D
Spends his freetime and mealtime while on his knees
       G      C       Em     D
And if Kim is half as old as Bobby
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Who is two years older then twelve year old Tori,
G       C         Em     D
For how many more 30 day months
           G                C       Em   D    G C Em D
Will their threesomes be considered statutory rape
 
[Verse]
      G      C              Em       D
Cause havin' sex is like quadratic expansion
      G        C               Em      D
If it can't be split then it's time to stop,
    G      C           Em    D
And havin' sex is like doing fractions,
       G              C             Em    D
It's improper for the larger one to be on top,
    G      C           Em   D
And havin' sex is like math homework,
G       C              Em         D
I do it best when I'm alone in my bed
 
[Ending]
    G        C           Em        D
And squaring numbers are just like women,
           G         C         Em              D
If they're under thirteen just do them in your head...
        C D G
And new math
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